You’ve probably heard from others that it’s normal to feel attracted to someone else, even when you’re already in a committed relationship or happy marriage. After all, you’re only human.
It just hasn’t happened to you — until now.
But lately, you’ve been dreaming about cheating on your partner, so now you’re frantically searching for common interpretations of dream meanings in an effort to understand what this says about your love life and your current relationship with the man or woman you thought you were in love with.
So what should you do when you start having dreams about cheating on your partner? Wake up, get some coffee, and take action so you can start to unravel your dream’s true meaning.
Follow these 5 steps to interpret what it means when you’re dreaming about cheating on your partner — so you can figure out what to do next.
1. Acknowledge your dreams and be kind to yourself
That’s right, give yourself a generous amount of your own kindness.
Understand your vulnerability and wish to escape into the arms of someone new — whether it was only in your dreams, or if it applies to real life, too — rather than pushing it down, denying, or shaming yourself. Remember, you’re human.
Being kind to yourself neutralizes your judgmental position about the dream and welcomes an open exploration of all your thoughts and feelings. So, go ahead — hug yourself!
2. Make an inventory of your life and satisfaction
Dreaming about having an affair doesn’t have to indicate a problem with your relationship. It could be a reflection of a different issue in your life.
So get a bigger picture of your level of satisfaction in all of these areas of your life first: health, work/career, lifestyle, finances, relationships and intimacy, values, and life purpose.
Take inventory of each and review the different issues you’re facing that are keeping you from feeling satisfied in all parts of your life.
To what extent are your challenges in other areas contributing to your dreams about infidelity? For example, if you’re dissatisfied in your career, are you seeking a distraction through a temporary s£xual taboo?
Thoughts and dreams about cheating on your partner can be motivated by issues that are totally unrelated to your satisfaction with your partner. Some people who love and are committed to their partners not only dream about cheating but even act on those dreams.
Take a step back and look at the bigger picture and what else may be going on for you.
3. Identify how you feel in your dreams
Taking responsibility for your feelings, thoughts, and behaviours are important. Make a list of how these dreams about cheating are helping and/or hurting you by asking yourself how you felt during your dream.
Do these dreams serve as a distraction from a so-so love life? Maybe you feel ignored by your partner or friends, so the thought of indulging in a little extra attention from someone else is appealing.
Are you feeling great about yourself and enjoying your power to attract attention? That can be a helpful boost to your ego.
Perhaps, you are conflict-avoidant and don’t know how to share honestly with your partner, so you’re dreaming about seeking comfort elsewhere. This helps you avoid difficult conversations with your partner.
And now that you’ve had this dream, you’re more anxious, guilt-ridden, and defensive. You know you’re lying to your partner by not addressing it and that hurts.
4. Consider talking to your partner
How does this suggestion make you feel? Nervous? Embarrassed? Mean? Guilty? Brave? Honest? A combination of all or something else entirely?
Whatever your feelings and thoughts are, ask yourself what they suggest about you, your partner, and your relationship values.
For example, do you value honesty? Would you want your partner to be able to talk to you if they were dreaming of cheating? Seek clarity about yourself and your relationship together before you act.
Also think about what you need from your partner, in order to feel emotionally safe discussing your dreams of cheating with them.
When you’re ready, start the conversation by telling them exactly what you need from them. Get their cooperation to be the kind of listener you need so you can share your thoughts and feelings intimately.
If you don’t feel emotionally safe, seek help from a relationship coach or therapist first.
5. Co-star with your partner in a fun and s£xy dream
Yes, that’s right. If you’re dreaming of another lover, bring that playful, s£xy energy to your partner first. Create more excitement in your relationship by “breaking the rules” together a little bit.
The risk involved in cheating (and getting caught) is part of the intrigue of an affair — whether it’s in your dreams or in real life. So, why not create or take more risks in your current relationship?
All committed relationships need that extra zip more than once in a while. Work on it together, or find more support with a trusted coach or therapist.
Before you do anything else, take these five steps if you keep dreaming about cheating on your partner.
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